Or… “Yes I’m sure it’s not COVID because it’s depression, you idiot.”
It’s easy to call in sick when you have the flu. Boy, do I long for a nice bout of the flu. Fever, vomiting; these are the symptoms our culture has decided will both allow you to stay home and excuse you from the day’s tasks. Boy, does that sound nice. Even if you have a job that you can do from home, nobody expects you to bring your laptop with you into the bathroom. Food poisoning? Great. These are America’s rare gold-medal excuses: No one expects you to power through them. You are really, truly, excused.